DARVO Analyzer
Identify Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim & Offender tactics in conversations
What is DARVO?
DARVO — Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender — is one of the most disorienting manipulation tactics you can experience. It happens when you raise a legitimate concern and suddenly find yourself being treated as the aggressor: they deny the behavior, attack your character for bringing it up, and flip the script so that they are now the victim and you are the one who "caused harm." If you have ever walked away from a conversation about their behavior feeling like you were the one who needed to apologize, you may have experienced DARVO. This tool helps you see the pattern clearly. If you are in immediate danger, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
In your own words, describe the concern, boundary, or issue you raised with them.
Paste their actual words if possible, or describe their response as closely as you remember it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Common questions about DARVO and how this tool can help you.
What is DARVO?
DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. It is a reaction pattern observed in abusers when they are held accountable for their behavior. First they deny the behavior, then they attack the person confronting them, and finally they reverse the roles so that the actual abuser claims to be the victim and the actual victim is treated as the wrongdoer. The term was coined by psychologist Jennifer Freyd.
How do I know if I'm experiencing DARVO?
A key sign is that you raised a legitimate concern and walked away feeling like you were the one who did something wrong. If a conversation about their behavior ends with you apologizing, defending yourself, or doubting your own reality, DARVO may be at work. This tool helps you identify the specific deny, attack, and reverse elements in their response.
What should I do when someone DARVOs me?
First, recognize it for what it is — a deflection tactic, not a reflection of reality. Do not engage in defending yourself against the reversal; that is exactly what the tactic is designed to provoke. Document the interaction, hold onto your original concern, and seek support from a trusted person or therapist. In the moment, you can say something like 'I want to stay focused on the concern I raised' without re-explaining or justifying yourself.
Is DARVO always intentional?
Not always. Some people use DARVO as a deeply ingrained defensive pattern learned in childhood, without conscious awareness of what they are doing. However, whether it is intentional or reflexive, the impact on you is the same: your valid concern gets dismissed and you end up feeling like the problem. The pattern is harmful regardless of intent, and recognizing it is important for protecting your wellbeing.
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