DARVO Analyzer
Identify Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim & Offender tactics in conversations
What is DARVO?
You brought up something that hurt you — and somehow ended up apologizing. That's DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender (coined by psychologist Jennifer Freyd). They denied it happened, attacked your motives for raising it, then repositioned themselves as the one who was wronged. The flip happens so fast it leaves you confused. Paste the exchange below and let the analyzer show you exactly where it occurred.
What is DARVO?
DARVO — Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender — is one of the most disorienting manipulation tactics you can experience. It happens when you raise a legitimate concern and suddenly find yourself being treated as the aggressor: they deny the behavior, attack your character for bringing it up, and flip the script so that they are now the victim and you are the one who "caused harm." If you have ever walked away from a conversation about their behavior feeling like you were the one who needed to apologize, you may have experienced DARVO. This tool helps you see the pattern clearly. If you are in immediate danger, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
In your own words, describe the concern, boundary, or issue you raised with them.
Paste their actual words if possible, or describe their response as closely as you remember it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Common questions about DARVO and how this tool can help you.
What is DARVO?
DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. It is a reaction pattern observed in abusers when they are held accountable for their behavior. First they deny the behavior, then they attack the person confronting them, and finally they reverse the roles so that the actual abuser claims to be the victim and the actual victim is treated as the wrongdoer. The term was coined by psychologist Jennifer Freyd.
How do I know if I'm experiencing DARVO?
A key sign is that you raised a legitimate concern and walked away feeling like you were the one who did something wrong. If a conversation about their behavior ends with you apologizing, defending yourself, or doubting your own reality, DARVO may be at work. This tool helps you identify the specific deny, attack, and reverse elements in their response.
What should I do when someone DARVOs me?
First, recognize it for what it is — a deflection tactic, not a reflection of reality. Do not engage in defending yourself against the reversal; that is exactly what the tactic is designed to provoke. Document the interaction, hold onto your original concern, and seek support from a trusted person or therapist. In the moment, you can say something like 'I want to stay focused on the concern I raised' without re-explaining or justifying yourself.
Is DARVO always intentional?
Not always. Some people use DARVO as a deeply ingrained defensive pattern learned in childhood, without conscious awareness of what they are doing. However, whether it is intentional or reflexive, the impact on you is the same: your valid concern gets dismissed and you end up feeling like the problem. The pattern is harmful regardless of intent, and recognizing it is important for protecting your wellbeing.
Your Covert-Narcissism Toolkit
Most people need more than one tool. Here are the next free, no-signup tools to reach for, based on where you are right now.
Gaslighting Detector
Spotted DARVO in a conversation? Run the exact phrases through the Gaslighting Detector to label each manipulation tactic hidden inside their attack and reversal.
Covert Narcissism Self-Test
Wondering if DARVO is part of a bigger pattern? The 2-minute self-test scores how much this person's behavior matches covert narcissism overall.
Grey Rock Generator
DARVO thrives on your reaction. Generate flat, non-reactive replies that refuse the bait so they can't pull you into defending yourself all over again.
Which Sharon Are You Dealing With?
Curious who weaponizes DARVO against you? The Sharon Quiz pinpoints which covert-narcissist persona you're facing and how their tactics usually escalate.
References & Further Reading
This framework is based on established psychological research and clinical evidence. The following sources informed the development of The Pyramid of Sharons.
Key Source
"Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex psychological condition that presents with a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. NPD can cause significant social and occupational impairment and often has complications of comorbid psychiatric and substance use disorders."
Evidence-Based Content: All information presented in The Pyramid of Sharons is grounded in peer-reviewed research on narcissistic personality disorder, cluster B personality disorders, and clinical psychology. For academic or professional citation of this framework, please use:
Kayser, S. (2025). The Pyramid of Sharons: A Behavioral Framework for Understanding Covert Narcissism. Retrieved from https://www.whoissharon.com/Related Topics
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