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    Therapist Sharon

    When Your Counselor is a Covert Narcissist

    "I Went to Therapy and Got Worse—Is That Normal?"

    "I started seeing my therapist for anxiety. After three months, I feel worse. She tells me I'm 'resistant to treatment' when I question her approach. She shares stories about her own life that make me uncomfortable. When I tried to set a boundary, she got cold and suggested I wasn't 'ready for real therapeutic work.' I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with the person who's supposed to help me feel safe. Am I the problem?"

    — Victim of a narcissist therapist

    You are not the problem. What you're describing are red flags of a narcissistic therapist—someone who uses therapy to meet their own needs for power, admiration, and control rather than to genuinely help clients. This is a profound ethical violation, and it causes real psychological harm.

    Why This is Uniquely Damaging

    • You're already vulnerable: You came to therapy seeking help, which means you're already in a compromised emotional state—making you easier to manipulate and less likely to trust your instincts
    • Power imbalance is baked in: The therapeutic relationship has inherent power differential—they're the "expert," you're the "patient," which gives them structural authority to define reality
    • Professional credibility shields abuse: Their license, degrees, and title create assumption of trustworthiness, making others disbelieve your experience ("How could a licensed professional...?")
    • They weaponize therapeutic language: They use psychology jargon to pathologize you, label your legitimate concerns as "resistance," and gaslight you with professional-sounding explanations
    • Reporting systems often fail: Licensing boards are slow, require extensive documentation, and are biased toward protecting professionals—many victims find reporting retraumatizing and ineffective

    10 Red Flags of a Narcissist Therapist (Therapist Sharon)

    1Violates Boundaries Under Guise of 'Helping'

    She pushes you to discuss topics you're not ready for or violates professional boundaries while framing it as 'what you need' for healing. Your discomfort is labeled 'resistance.'

    Example: She insists you confront your abusive parent before you're ready, saying 'you'll never heal unless you face this.' She texts outside sessions with 'just checking in' messages that feel invasive. When you express discomfort, she says you're 'avoiding intimacy.'
    Why it's dangerous: Boundary violations in therapy retraumatize clients and create unhealthy dependency. It's a fundamental ethical violation that damages the client's ability to trust future helpers.

    2Projects Her Own Issues Onto You

    She interprets your experiences through her own unresolved trauma, relationships, or conflicts. Her personal issues become the framework for understanding your life, even when it doesn't fit.

    Example: She had a difficult mother, so she assumes your mother is the problem even when you're discussing your partner. She's going through a divorce, so she encourages you to leave your relationship when you came for couples counseling tools.
    Why it's dangerous: You're paying for her to work through her issues using your life as raw material. This distorts your self-understanding and leads to harmful decisions based on her projection, not your reality.

    3Gaslights You About Your Own Experiences

    She reframes your memories, minimizes your feelings, or insists you're misinterpreting situations to assert her version of reality as the only valid one. She uses therapeutic authority to override your own knowing.

    Example: You describe feeling manipulated by someone. She says, 'I don't think that's what happened—you're being overly sensitive.' You share a memory of childhood neglect. She responds, 'Most parents make mistakes. You need to forgive and move on.'
    Why it's dangerous: Gaslighting from a therapist is devastating because you sought help specifically to validate and understand your reality. When the person with professional authority denies your experience, it compounds existing trauma and self-doubt.

    4Competes With You or Resents Your Progress

    She subtly competes with your achievements, minimizes your successes, or seems threatened when you make progress. Good news is met with deflection or redirecting to problems. She needs you to remain the 'patient.'

    Example: You share a career win. She responds, 'That's nice,' then immediately pivots to what's wrong in your life. You say you're feeling better. She insists you're 'in denial.' When you demonstrate insight, she takes credit: 'See how our work is paying off?'
    Why it's dangerous: Therapy should celebrate your growth and empower independence. A therapist who needs you to stay broken is invested in your dysfunction, not your healing. This creates dependency and prevents genuine progress.

    5Uses Confidential Information to Manipulate or Control

    She uses what you've shared in confidence as leverage—using it to 'prove' her interpretations or weaponizing vulnerable disclosures to keep you compliant during disagreements.

    Example: When you question her approach, she references your trauma: 'Given your history, it makes sense you'd struggle with authority figures.' She implies consequences if you leave: 'If you stop therapy now, after what you've shared, you might spiral.'
    Why it's dangerous: Confidentiality is the foundation of therapeutic safety. Weaponizing disclosures is a severe ethical violation that causes profound betrayal trauma and prevents future help-seeking.

    6Plays Savior Role—You're Her 'Special Project'

    She positions herself as the only one who truly understands you, the hero of your healing story. She emphasizes how you're 'lucky to have her.' This creates unhealthy dependency and isolation from other support.

    Example: She says, 'Other therapists wouldn't work with someone as complex as you, but I'm willing.' She texts, 'I was thinking about you this weekend—your case is so interesting.' She discourages second opinions: 'Another therapist won't understand your history like I do.'
    Why it's dangerous: The savior dynamic creates enmeshment rather than empowerment. You become dependent on her validation rather than developing internal resources. It's narcissistic supply disguised as exceptional care.

    7Punishes You for Disagreeing or Setting Boundaries

    When you question her approach, decline a suggestion, or assert a boundary, she becomes cold, withdraws warmth, or retaliates by pathologizing you. The therapeutic relationship feels conditional on your compliance.

    Example: You say you're not comfortable with an approach. She gets noticeably cooler and says, 'This is why you're not making progress—you resist everything.' You ask to change appointment times. She sighs heavily: 'I've been accommodating, but this is difficult for me.'
    Why it's dangerous: Therapy should be the one place you can safely practice boundaries and self-advocacy. A therapist who punishes independence is recreating abusive dynamics rather than healing them.

    8Centers Herself—Sessions Become About Her

    She shares excessive personal information, discusses her own problems, or steers conversations back to her experiences. You leave sessions feeling like you listened to her rather than being heard yourself.

    Example: She spends 20 minutes discussing her difficult week when you came in crisis. She shares details about her relationships or other clients. She uses your session to process her feelings: 'When you said that, it reminded me of when I...'
    Why it's dangerous: You're paying to be her therapist. This role reversal is exploitative and prevents you from receiving care. It mirrors parentification and other childhood trauma patterns, compounding existing wounds.

    9Keeps You Dependent—No End Goal, No Progress

    She has no treatment plan, goals, or vision for your improvement. When you make progress, she identifies new problems. When you mention ending therapy, she creates urgency or catastrophizes.

    Example: Sessions lack structure or goals—just venting without direction. When you ask about progress, she's vague: 'Healing isn't linear.' Years pass with no measurable improvement. If you mention stopping, she warns: 'That would be a mistake right now.'
    Why it's dangerous: Ethical therapy aims to make itself obsolete by building client independence. A therapist who needs you to stay is invested in your dysfunction and is engaging in financial and emotional exploitation.

    10Uses Professional Status to Dismiss Your Concerns

    When you raise concerns about her behavior or feeling worse, she uses her credentials and expertise to dismiss you. Your legitimate concerns are pathologized as symptoms, resistance, or evidence you 'need' her help.

    Example: You say you feel uncomfortable. She responds, 'That discomfort is actually growth—you need to trust the process.' You question her approach. She invokes authority: 'I have 20 years of experience. I know what I'm doing.' She labels your concerns as 'transference' or 'resistance.'
    Why it's dangerous: This is professional gaslighting using therapeutic jargon as a weapon. It silences legitimate feedback and creates a dynamic where you can't question authority—precisely the opposite of what therapy should teach.

    Where Therapist Sharon Operates: Settings & Specialties

    Narcissist therapists exist across all therapeutic settings and specialties. Some gravitate toward roles where they have maximum power, vulnerability access, or opportunities for savior dynamics.

    Trauma Therapy

    Access to extremely vulnerable clients:

    • • Clients are already questioning reality (trauma response)
    • • High power differential due to client vulnerability
    • • Can reframe abuse as "part of healing process"
    • • Savior complex opportunities
    • • Clients often have histories of not being believed
    Red flag: Trauma therapist who retraumatizes by pushing too fast, violating boundaries, or using your trauma for her own emotional processing.

    Couples/Family Therapy

    Maximum control over narratives and relationships:

    • • Can play people against each other (triangulation)
    • • Takes sides while appearing neutral
    • • Can damage relationships under guise of "honesty"
    • • Violates individual confidentiality
    • • May identify with/enable abusive partner
    Red flag: Couples therapist who seems to favor one partner, shares confidential information, or pushes reconciliation when abuse is present.

    Social Work/Child Protective Services

    Institutional power over vulnerable families:

    • • Legal authority over children and families
    • • Can destroy families or enable abuse
    • • Clients have no choice (mandated services)
    • • Savior complex combined with power
    • • Limited oversight and accountability
    Red flag: Social worker who seems more interested in control than genuine child welfare, makes unfounded accusations, or plays power games with families.

    Court-Ordered/Forensic Evaluators

    Evaluations that determine custody, legal outcomes:

    • • Enormous power over people's lives
    • • Biased evaluations can destroy families
    • • Difficult to challenge their reports
    • • May favor the narcissist parent (recognizes tactics)
    • • No therapeutic relationship to constrain abuse
    Red flag: Evaluator who clearly favors one party before investigation, ignores evidence, or seems to enjoy the power they wield.

    Addiction/Recovery Counseling

    Clients in crisis with limited options:

    • • Clients are desperate and vulnerable
    • • Often court-mandated (no choice)
    • • Can shame clients about relapses
    • • Uses "tough love" to justify cruelty
    • • May be in recovery themselves, using clients for ego
    Red flag: Counselor who shames rather than supports, seems punitive about relapses, or uses clients' vulnerability to feel superior.

    Group Therapy Facilitators

    Audience for performance, multiple sources of supply:

    • • Can perform "insightful therapist" for group audience
    • • Uses members against each other
    • • Has favorites and scapegoats in group
    • • Group pressure used to enforce compliance
    • • Can be cult-like with charismatic facilitator
    Red flag: Group leader who encourages members to attack or pressure each other, plays favorites, or creates dependency on the group.

    What Good Therapy Looks Like vs. Therapist Sharon

    Good Therapy

    • ✓
      Empowers you to trust your own judgment and make your own decisions
    • ✓
      Has clear goals and treatment plan; measures progress collaboratively
    • ✓
      Respects boundaries and teaches you to set and enforce them
    • ✓
      Validates your experience while helping you see patterns and possibilities
    • ✓
      Welcomes questions and feedback about the therapeutic relationship
    • ✓
      Maintains appropriate self-disclosure (minimal, purposeful)
    • ✓
      Celebrates your growth and works toward independence
    • ✓
      Takes responsibility if approaches aren't working; adjusts
    • ✓
      You feel progressively safer, more grounded, more capable over time
    • ✓
      Supports you getting second opinions or changing therapists if needed

    Therapist Sharon

    • ✗
      Creates dependency on her wisdom, approval, and interpretations
    • ✗
      No clear goals; keeps you in therapy indefinitely with vague promises
    • ✗
      Violates boundaries and punishes you for setting them
    • ✗
      Invalidates or reframes your experiences to fit her narrative
    • ✗
      Defensive or retaliatory when you question her approach
    • ✗
      Excessive self-disclosure; sessions become about her
    • ✗
      Threatened by your progress or finds new problems when you improve
    • ✗
      Blames you when things aren't working ("resistance," "not ready")
    • ✗
      You feel worse over time: more anxious, confused, dependent, traumatized
    • ✗
      Discourages second opinions; you're "too complex" for others to understand

    What To Do If You Have a Narcissist Therapist

    Trust Your Gut and Leave

    You don't owe a toxic therapist explanation, closure, or a "proper" termination. Your safety and wellbeing come first.

    • • You can stop attending without explanation
    • • Send a brief email: "I've decided to discontinue therapy. Please do not contact me."
    • • You don't need to process your decision with them (that gives them more power)
    • • If they contact you asking why, you don't have to respond
    • • Request your records in writing (they're legally required to provide them)
    • • Block their number if they won't respect your boundary
    Remember: A good therapist would respect your decision to leave, even if they disagreed with it. A narcissist will try to hoover you back or punish you for leaving.

    Find a Trauma-Informed Therapist Who Gets It

    Not all therapists understand narcissistic abuse or iatrogenic harm (harm caused by treatment).

    • • Search for therapists with training in complex trauma, narcissistic abuse
    • • Ask directly: "Have you worked with clients harmed by previous therapists?"
    • • Look for EMDR, IFS, or somatic therapy specialists
    • • Share what happened in your first session to assess their response
    • • A good therapist will believe you and validate that it happens
    • • Be honest about your caution and need to build trust slowly

    Document Everything Before You Forget

    Narcissist therapists are skilled gaslighters. Document while memories are fresh.

    • • Write down specific incidents with dates, quotes, and behaviors
    • • Note patterns: boundary violations, gaslighting, inappropriate disclosures
    • • Save any texts, emails, or written communication
    • • Document how you felt during and after sessions (deteriorating, anxious, confused)
    • • This is for you first, but may be useful if you decide to report
    • • Keep documentation in a safe place she can't access

    Consider Reporting (But Understand the Limits)

    Reporting may not result in action, but creates a paper trail for future complaints.

    • • Report to their licensing board (psychology board, social work board, etc.)
    • • File complaints with professional associations (APA, NASW, etc.)
    • • If in agency/hospital, report to clinical supervisor or administration
    • • Document ethical violations specifically (boundary issues, confidentiality breaches)
    • • Understand that boards are slow and biased toward professionals
    • • Reporting is often retraumatizing—weigh benefits vs. costs for your wellbeing
    • • Consider consulting with an attorney if serious harm occurred

    Protect Others If Safe to Do So

    You may want to warn others, but do so carefully to protect yourself legally.

    • • Honest online reviews stating factual experiences (not diagnoses)
    • • Share your experience in support groups (helps others recognize patterns)
    • • Be cautious about public accusations (defamation laws favor professionals)
    • • Stick to "I statements" and specific behaviors, not diagnostic labels
    • • Example: "I felt worse in therapy, she violated boundaries" vs. "She's a narcissist"
    • • Consider anonymous reporting if you fear retaliation

    Process the Betrayal and Healing

    Being harmed by a therapist is a unique betrayal trauma that needs specific healing.

    • • Acknowledge that this was abuse, not failed therapy
    • • Grieve the help you needed but didn't receive
    • • Process anger at the betrayal of professional trust
    • • Separate your legitimate issues from her projections
    • • Rebuild trust in yourself and your judgment
    • • Understand that your difficulty trusting new therapists is rational, not pathological
    • • Be patient with yourself—recovery from iatrogenic harm takes time

    How to Report an Unethical Therapist

    Step 1: Identify the Right Licensing Board

    Different licenses have different governing boards:

    • • Psychologists: State Psychology Board
    • • Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW): State Social Work Board
    • • Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC/LPCC): State Counseling Board
    • • Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT): State MFT Board
    • • Psychiatrists: State Medical Board

    Search "[Your State] + [License Type] + Licensing Board" to find contact information and complaint procedures.

    Step 2: Gather Documentation

    Boards require specific evidence of ethical violations:

    • • Dates and times of sessions
    • • Specific statements or behaviors (quote exactly)
    • • Boundary violations (texts, inappropriate contact)
    • • Witnesses if applicable
    • • Any written communication (emails, texts)
    • • Documentation of harm (if you saw another therapist for repair)

    Frame complaints around ethical code violations, not personality or effectiveness.

    Step 3: File the Complaint

    Most boards have online complaint forms. Include:

    • • Therapist's full name, license number, practice address
    • • Dates of treatment
    • • Detailed description of ethical violations
    • • Supporting documentation
    • • Impact on your wellbeing

    Common ethical violations to cite:

    • • Boundary violations (dual relationships, inappropriate contact)
    • • Breach of confidentiality
    • • Failure to obtain informed consent
    • • Practicing outside scope of competence
    • • Exploitation or harm to client

    Additional Reporting Options

    • Professional Associations: APA (psychologists), NASW (social workers), ACA (counselors)—file ethics complaints
    • Employer/Agency: If they work for a hospital, clinic, or agency, file complaints with clinical director or administration
    • Insurance Companies: If they're in-network, report ethical violations to insurance companies
    • Law Enforcement: If sexual abuse, financial exploitation, or criminal conduct occurred
    • Civil Attorney: Consult about malpractice suits for significant harm

    Related Topics

    Nice Lady Narcissist

    Understanding the broader pattern of female covert narcissism in helping professions.

    female narcissismhelperscaregivers

    Covert vs Overt Narcissism

    Understanding the key differences between hidden and obvious narcissistic patterns.

    covertovertdifferences

    Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

    Recovery strategies after experiencing narcissistic abuse in therapy settings.

    recoveryhealingtherapy

    DARVO Tactic

    How narcissists Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender roles.

    manipulationdefenseblame-shifting

    Therapist Sharon in the Pyramid Framework

    Understanding how narcissist therapists fit into the Sharon archetype

    Therapist Sharon operates at advanced covert manipulation protected by professional credentials, licensing authority, and institutional power. The therapeutic setting provides perfect conditions for narcissistic abuse: vulnerable victims, power imbalance, confidentiality shields, and professional credibility that pre-discredits complaints.

    Why Therapist Sharon is Especially Dangerous:

    • Access to the vulnerable: Clients seeking help are already compromised and less likely to trust their instincts
    • Professional gaslighting tools: Uses therapeutic language to pathologize legitimate concerns
    • Systemic protection: Licensing boards, institutions, and professional culture shield bad actors
    • Compounding trauma: Abuse by someone you trusted to help creates profound betrayal trauma
    • Prevents future help-seeking: Makes victims afraid to try therapy again, leaving them without support

    Recognizing Therapist Sharon as part of the broader Sharon framework helps you understand that this is a pattern, not an aberration. Narcissists infiltrate all high-trust, high-power roles—including therapy. Understanding the pattern protects you across contexts.

    Resources for Victims of Therapist Abuse

    Finding Safe Help After Bad Therapy

    • • Psychology Today Therapist Finder: Filter by specialties like "narcissistic abuse" and "complex trauma"
    • • EMDRIA.org: Find EMDR therapists trained in trauma
    • • IFS-Institute.com: Internal Family Systems therapists
    • • Ask explicitly: "Have you worked with clients harmed by previous therapists?"
    • • Online directories: Inclusive Therapists, Open Path Collective (sliding scale)

    Books on Therapist Abuse & Narcissistic Abuse

    • • "Therapy Gone Mad" by Carol Lynn Mithers (extreme cases but validates it happens)
    • • "Boundaries and Dual Relationships in Professional Practice" for understanding violations
    • • "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk (trauma recovery)
    • • "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" by Pete Walker
    • • "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" by Dr. Ramani Durvasula (narcissistic abuse)

    Online Support Communities

    • • r/TalkTherapy (Reddit) - discusses therapy experiences including negative ones
    • • r/raisedbynarcissists (Reddit) - many members share therapist abuse experiences
    • • TELL (Therapy Exploitation Link Line): UK-based support for therapy abuse victims
    • • Facebook groups: "Narcissistic Abuse Support," "Therapy Abuse Survivors"
    • • Out of the FOG forums - personality disorder abuse discussions

    Reporting & Legal Resources

    • • State Licensing Boards: Search "[State] + [Profession] + licensing board"
    • • APA Ethics Office: ethics@apa.org (for psychologists)
    • • NASW Ethics: ethics@socialworkers.org (for social workers)
    • • Local Bar Association: Referrals for malpractice attorneys
    • • AAML.org: American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (for custody evaluator abuse)